The Life of an STD

My name is Chlamydia. My sisters and mother also are named Chlamydia. My nickname is Clap, although I am not sure exactly how I got it. I was born in the usual way. My mother became a Mother-Cell and constantly grew and divided to create me and my sisters. Nobody is quite sure where the first Mother-Cell came from.

We stayed with Mom until we had enough strength stored up to leave home. That is the most difficult journey of a young Chlamydia cell’s life.

When it came time to leave, Mom sent us off in little groups. We had to swim against a strong current and search for a foreign object with an opening on the tip. I guess instinct lead us to it. It was important to make it there and inside before large round creatures with long swishing tails erupted from the opening.

Only two of my sisters made it inside with me. The others did not make it there in time. Once we were inside, we swam up a long thin tube and found ourselves in the home of the creatures. I learned that like us, they all share one name. Only Sperm could be either a boy or a girl.

After our incredible and exhausting trip, my sisters and I had to wait a few weeks to regain strength before moving on. In this time, many sperm left and were replaced by others who were younger.

When I felt strong enough, I swam out to what Sperm called Pre-ejaculate. This would take me to my new home. This part of my life journey was much easier. All I had to do was allow it to carry me away.

My new home was not as clean and nice as the place I was born. I admit that I was very disappointed to find there were many others already living there. There was not much room, so I was forced to share space with Syphilis. She was rather rude, and acted like she thought she was superior to me. The entire place had an unusual smell that would even bother Gonorrhea, who makes his home anywhere.

Mom told me once I settled in my new home; I would become a Mother-Cell and begin my own family. I just could not imagine raising my children in such a crowded place. So I decided to break the rules and leave.

Once again I made the exhausting trip back to the land of Sperm. It took me longer to recover because I was much older. Although I considered raising my family there, I knew there had to be a better place out there.

Instead of swimming to the Pre-ejaculate flow, I attached myself to Sperm. He constantly babbled about finding some egg. Though I had no idea what he was talking about, I listened with enthusiasm, and hoped that he would find this amazing treasure.

Finally I had found a good home to raise my daughters. It was clean, healthy, and best of all, there were no neighbors. I had just given birth to my first fifty babies when something drastic happened.

For nine days now, I have been attacked by an invisible force that is draining me of my energy. Each day I feel a little weaker. I watched each of my babies die to this enemy. By the third day, I knew that I would never be able to have any more. I am the only one left now. I do not expect to live more than another day. I can feel myself dying more each moment that slowly passes by. All that I can hope is that my place here is remembered.